A student wanders in through the front doors of the Justin on Sunday evening. Before too long, he walks up to me and asks, “Where is Ryan?”

I explain that Ryan and his family are out of town this weekend, but they should be back next week. It’s subtle, but his eyes sink toward the ground a little in disappointment as he says, “Oh, okay. I was going to tell him how my game went, we were talking about it last week.”

It’s a small exchange, no longer than 30 seconds, but as we reflected on it later that evening, a deeper realization came to the surface: students expect to see the staff when they come to the Justin – but they’re hoping to see the volunteers.

If kids being here is what makes the Justin feel alive, our volunteers are the heartbeat, pumping life through the building: without them, without you, much of what we do isn’t possible; and, honestly, life in the Justin is not as good without adults being part of it. Partnering with the Youth Ministries isn’t something you have to do (the most common response when we ask parents to partner with us is, “no, because…” – but we promise, if you give it a chance and show up, it is not only impactful and worthwhile, but it is life-changing for you, your kids, your family and this ministry.

We could write pages and pages about why showing up matters, but we think it matters that you hear it from people like you: fellow parents who have been part of life in and around the Justin. Over the last couple weeks, we sent out a series of questions to some of our volunteers – some are new this semester, some have been volunteering for so long their kids have graduated and moved to college, and some are somewhere in between – to get their perspective.

When we asked some of our parent partners why they chose to partner with the Youth Ministries, we received a wide variety of answers, including a high school parent who just said, “Because you asked me to.” But an answer from one of our Refuge partners, a dad with kids in both middle and high school, stood out:

 “With my kids getting older and time slipping away from us, it is great to have extra opportunities – away from the typical distractions – to goof around and build memories with them.”

Partnering with the Youth Ministries doesn’t require much – you don’t need to be the “cool” parent or a biblical expert – but it does ask you to give up one of your most valuable resources: your time. Between responsibilities as a parent, running kids to school and extracurriculars, and your own career and social life, parents are just as busy as their kids. But, if you take a step back from it all and ask yourself, is your student’s faith just as important as their extracurriculars? You show up at their football games and their choir concerts, not because you have to, but because you want them to feel seen, cared for, supported, like what they’re doing matters to you – all of that applies to life in the Justin too. Being part of things here alongside your students makes a difference in your relationship with them. A mom who has participated in some of our High School Mission Trips, said:

“Even though you will work in different groups and there are enough kids to give your own kids some room, you still ultimately experience the same event together. Long after the event, you have memories to share together, laughing about something funny that a group of kids did, reminiscing about the drive, just general stories that you can connect around.”

Another parent, an alumni dad who had two kids come through our ministry, said,

“Being able to share in the experiences from their youth ministry journey has brought us closer as a family. My kids no longer feel they need to hide things from me because they know and have seen me show up in a loving and judgment-free way with others.”

John was a beloved volunteer of the youth ministry I grew up in. When I texted him to ask if he had a favorite memory from his time volunteering, his response was, “Yes, so many memories, but I’ll have to ponder a favorite.”

John also happens to be my dad. My dad was a volunteer in the youth ministry from before I was ever in youth right up until he took the job as the youth pastor my senior year (bummer, right?). He was a Confirmation volunteer, Sunday School teacher, small group leader, led music for the youth praise band, and came on just about every trip I remember going on.

And let me tell you something: I am so grateful he was. Don’t get me wrong, at the time I was so annoyed that he was always there, always in my space, always the first one to tell me off when I had very much earned it.

Thinking back now, I don’t remember any of that (at least not the details of it). Here’s what I do remember: that he was there. I remember he was one of the first ones to show up and one of the last ones to leave. I remember that he always jumped in to play games alongside us and I remember he was always willing to talk to a kid that was having a hard time. I remember he was the one who said yes to everything, even the events that no one looks forward to (*cough cough* Middle School Retreat) . I remember he was always the one telling kids they could do hard things, accomplish anything they set their mind to, encouraging them to be better people, and pushed them to be kinder, more thoughtful, more generous, and more compassionate.

I remember how much he loved being there, how much he loved getting to be part of our lives, how much he loved getting to be one of the people we knew we could count on. And it changed our relationship – and it changed me.

Partnering with the Youth Ministries doesn’t just make a difference for our students, it changes your life, too. When we were talking with parents leading up to this story, so many of them articulated that being part of this community had made a difference in their own life. A mom with a high school student who has partnered with us for Sunday morning programming, summer trips and Revolution Weekend, said,

“When the world feels loud, scary, and full of polarizing opinions, spending time with these youth, particularly while they are not only doing service but enjoying it even when it’s hard, gives me hope for the future. They get along with each other and are more tolerant of differences than most adults. I think far more adults should spend time with teens and get to know them and how thoughtful they are.”

We won’t lie, working with teenagers can be hard. Teenagers are honest. They can be mean. They are sometimes hard to understand. They can be hard to communicate with.

They also care so much about the world around us. They’re willing to have hard, nuanced conversations about big questions and complicated issues. They’re bold and they’re brave, but they’re still willing to learn and grow. They’re fun, and they’re so funny – you’ll laugh harder than you have in a long time if you’re willing to create some space for a little chaos.

They’ll push you to be better. To be more kind, to love more deeply, to be more open to new possibilities, to imagine a world that might not exist yet. They’ll give you answers to questions you didn’t know you were asking, and they’ll bring you along for the ride if you let them. All you have to do is take the time to show up and live alongside them.

We didn’t only ask parents what it meant to them to be part of life in and around the Justin – we also asked some of our kids what it means to them to have their parents and other parents be invested in them and in this place. This is what they said:

“I’m not sure I ‘want’ them to be involved in youth stuff. But I think it means a lot, because they want to be part of the stuff that I do.”

“It makes me feel safer, like I have a second person looking out for me.”

“It means a lot to me because I feel more connected to [them]. Church to me is a place where I can relax and [be myself] and I want to share that with my parents.”

“Obviously I see my mom a lot, but when we do church stuff together it, we get along better at home too. [I don’t know], it’s something about both of us getting to be ourselves that it’s like we can really talk.”

Showing up is all that matters. We know you are busy – your time is finite and valuable, and we don’t take that lightly. But the best way you can show your kids that their church, their faith, their community are important is to show up with them. It will make a difference for your kids, for all of our students, for us as staff, and for you, too.

Much love,

Matt
and the Youth Ministries team

If you’d like to become one of our partner families, we would love to hear from you. You can find our Partner With The Youth Ministries form here, and if you have any questions about partnering with us, please reach out to Matt (mbritt@myfumc.org).